It was, as Abbie Trafford says, an aphrodisiac of the most potent sort. A fairly tale come true–Harvard man returns to Smith girl he’d rejected–I plunged into a passionate love affair with a man who was married, but who insisted that his marriage was basically “over.”

Two and a half years later, the passion had eroded. What had seemed a magical relationship had grown tawdry. The final blow came when he mentioned, after a Caribbean vacation with his wife, that he had not called me because “it wasn’t worth the cost.”

My children were vastly relieved, since they had found the whole thing an embarrassment. (MY fault for telling them, but at the beginning I was so besotted that I ran around telling everyone.)

Eight months later, I received a phone call from a man I had known for 40 years. Recently widowed, he had been a neighbor and fellow parent in Greenwich Village. We have been together now for two months.

I don’t know whether it’s love or like, but I enjoy being with him, in bed and out. We are sexually very active, but both crave companionship as much as affection.

An important bond is the fact that we both work–he is 75 and works two days a week, while I, at 73, write free lance and teach–and we both adore our grandchildren.

Power (or “maestrie” as Chaucer put it)has been a problem, but we’re working on it. His late wife was a stay-at-home-housewife, while I have always been very independent.

(I have been married and divorced twice, both times by my own choice, and have been self-employed for years. )

The first time he told me what to do, I was shocked. Since then, we’ve had a few arguments, but we’re learning to accommodate each other. (Laughter helps.)

I have had several long stretches of life without a partner–between marriages and other relationships–and found them very lonely.

As a result, I think I am more tolerant now that I’ve been in the past. Age has also made me more aware of mortality. At 75 and 73, I don’t know how much time we will have, so I’d like to make the most of it.

Suzanne, I would be delighted to be interviewed.

Best regards, Ravelle

However, I know mine is not the only story. Women everywhere are experiencing new ways of exploring intimacy after fifty. Brava, Suzanne, for continuing your work to hold a mirror up to our generation as we age, and help us identify and seek to understand the changes that growing older bring. Through information and a renewed sense of sisterhood we can truly celebrate this wonderful and rich time in our lives.

I won’t names unless you are interested in hearing more on this.

My last relationship ended a little over two years ago, and I found out recently that it was because of another woman. He didn’t have the decency to break off our relationship in the right way. There is more to that.

I will be writing you about being interested in being interviewed if you think I can be of help with your new book.

I can hardly wait! I loved your first two books!

Thank you.