June 2010 — “Age is NOT a disease! Women like being 50, 60 and 70. We don’t want to go back to Thirty – it was too stressful,” say, Suzanne Braun Levine, author of 50 IS THE NEW FIFTY and Eileen Williams, the founder of the FEISTY SIDE OF FIFTY blog and radio show. The two experts on women’s lives are partnering on a 10-part blog radio series based on the life lessons in Levine’s book.

“The lessons are guidelines,” Levine says, “for embracing your age, feeling positive about yourself, finding your own voice and using it.” The series will cover all aspects of women’s lives – marriage, change and crises, friendships, health, aging, work and self-reinvention in open, honest and intimate conversations.

“Our initial idea was a three-part series for the paperback publication of “50 IS THE NEW FIFTY,” says Eileen Williams, “but, we had so much fun, we decided to continue and talk about all the lessons the book.”

For information on the series, please visit:

http://feistysideoffifty.com/2010/06/15/women-over-50-age-is-not-a-disease/

JUNE 15 TOPIC:

Age is Not a Disease (15 minute program) – Listen and Share

http://bit.ly/feistysideoffitybHYbQT

JOIN SUZANNE & EILEEN FOR A 10-PART

SERIES ON “FEISTY SIDE OF FIFTY RADIO!”

The program that celebrates Baby Boomer Women who are totally transforming the spirit and style of aging!

www.blogtalkradio.com/feisty-side-of-fifty

**UPCOMING LIVE Radio Broadcasts**

(LIVE BROADCASTS – Noon EST)

June 21 YOUR MARRIAGE CAN MAKE IT (Lesson #8)

June 29 EVERY CRISIS CREATES A NEW NORMAL (Lesson #5)

July 6  YOU DO KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO DO

WITH THE REST OF YOUR LIFE (Lesson #9)

July 9  ‘BOTH’ IS THE NEW ‘EITHER/OR’ (Lesson #10)

July 13 FIFTY IS THE NEW FIFTY* (Lesson #1)

Previously Recorded Broadcasts (On Demand Episodes):

June 17 NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES (Lesson #2)

June 15 AGE IS NOT A DISEASE (Lesson #7)

April 9  Do Unto Yourself as You Have Been Doing Unto Others

(Lesson #6)

April 7  A “Circle of Trust Is a Must” (Lesson #4)

April 1  No Is Not a Four-Letter Word (Lesson #3)

Also, please visit:

www.feistysideoffity.com

Listen Live at 1 pm EST or Later!

About Mary Eileen Williams, M.A., NCC has twenty years combined experience as a career and life transition counselor, job search specialist, university instructor, and writer. She is a Nationally Board Certified Counselor. She is the founder of the popular blog: www.feistysideoffifty.com

LAND THE JOB YOU LOVE! 10 Surefire Strategies for Jobseekers Over 50 (is a guide and workbook with easy-to-follow steps, that simple to understand guaranteed to produce results.

Circle of Trust Summer Favorites!

Why do we read more in the summer?

Maybe because we take long trips that are conducive to long reads. Maybe because we lie in the sun (for short stretches) and the shade for hours. One thing I know: this is the season when we recommend a wider range of books to each other and we read them with the special joy that “summer reading” adds to the prospect of settling in with a friend’s favorites.

I recently read Desert Queen by Janet Wallach. It is the story of Gertrude Bell an educated English woman, who was one of the first to strike out on her own into the mysterious Middle East. She was a contemporary of Lawrence of Arabia and was, we learn in this book, the brains behind his adventures. It is striking to see how much women’s live have changed since the 1900s and how little has changed in the Middle East.

Here are some of the books my friends are enjoying:

From Patricia Bauman…

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks is the best-seller that it deserves to be. Combining science, bioethics, family history, the urban African-American migration and much more, the author tells a fascinating and moving story. Her emotional relationship with Henrietta’s daughter properly pushes the boundaries of journalistic detachment and gives real life to the tale.

For history buffs, FDR and GRANT, both by Jean Edward Smith, are wonderful biographies that read like page-turners. I particularly enjoyed the book about Grant, his evolution on race and his championship of Reconstruction. Much of this was new to me.

I am also reading Kirstin Downey’s The Woman Behind the New Deal about Frances Perkins.

From Joanne Edgar…

Right now, I’m enjoying Little Bee by Chris Cleave.

From Elizabeth Ely…

I loved Little Bee. I recently read Infinities by John Banville, spectacular. Just Kids by Patti Smith about her relationship with the young Robert Mapplethorpe is thoroughly lovely. Also, re-reading lots of Henry James. I started with his short stories, then The Ambassadors, The Wings of the Dove, and The Europeans.

From Amy Ferris…

Free Fall by Rae Padilla Francoueur – a memoir that’s honest and raw and erotic. It’s about letting go – of shame, of the past, moving forward, finding real true deep sexy love.

Life’s that Way by Jim Beaver – a memoir about just about everything. Cowboys and Wills, A Love Story by Monica Holloway – cowboy is a girl, wills is a boy – they’re both blonds, a little boy with autism, a dog with great passion, two very best friends, gorgeous, stunningly written book. Monica Holloway blows me away. Letters to Our Daughters, Kristine Van Raden & Molly Davis – perfect. Simply, heartbreakingly perfect. For everyone and anyone. I laughed. I cried. The Other Woman, by Victoria Zackheim – a fabulous anthology all about love, sex and betrayal. Pitch perfect essays!

From Stephanie Weiss -

I loved The Post-Birthday World by Lionel Shriver. I also think Olive Kitteridge and Let the Great World Spin are two of the best books I’ve read in the past 10 years – both are short-story collections with overlapping characters and themes. Also, re-read Catcher in the Rye a few months ago, and it was so much better than I remembered!

Also on my list: Little Bee, Ann Tyler’s new book, Indignation by Phillip Roth. Was thinking of re-reading Anne of Green Gables and Huck Finn.

From Ruth A. Wooden -

I loved The Post-Birthday World by Lionel Shriver from years ago. Also, Wolf Hall was good IF you have days to stay with it. Too many characters named Thomas and Katherine. Shriver’s A Perfectly Good Family was Hilarious. I will read her new one at the Vineyard. I am also going to try to reread The French Lieutenant’s Woman.

Visit your local book store or www.amazon.com and please add your summer favorite books below.

YOUNGER WOMEN ARE LOOKING AHEAD!

When I decided to sign up for the Weekend to End Women’s Cancers 60K two-day event in Toronto, I knew I would have to train. I hadn’t done very much about exercise in a long time. I had not been motivated. I thought all my little aches would just get bigger/worse. My damaged discs would rebel. I was wrong.

Two things happened that made me change my outlook. First, I decided that at 65 I had to do the walk to honor my mother who had died of cancer at 65. Second, I had read Suzanne’s chapter – “Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes” – many times. It applies to so many parts of our lives. I can’t count how many times I have said that phrase in my head. So I began my training.

I started walking and it just got easier and easier. The walks got longer and longer, and I realized after I had walked 37.5K with my group that could definitely do the 60K walk in September. I did not start fundraising until I made significant progress in the training. But, now I feel confident about that too.

Last Sunday, I completed my first Half Marathon race (3:13.24) and, I think I’m making progress in other aspects of life too. One woman I met during the race said, that her goal had been to do 12 half marathons by age 68. I was still feeling pretty good in the middle of the race – on what was a very hot day – so I decided maybe I can do 12 by the time I am 68!

Now, I can also start a new chapter in Suzanne’s book, “You Do Know What You Want to Do.”

*My Bib for the race has “Cindy” on it because I inherited her spot. She sprained her ankle on a visit to New York.

**Betsey, my best friend from college said, I look ebullient in both the “before” and “after” photo. Marty, my husband, is my official photographer.

Note – If you want to train for a race or really enjoy walking – join a group. It is so much more fun and empowering to walk with a group of women. I walk with the Running Room in Toronto.

For information on the Weekend to End Women’s Cancers, please visit: www.endcancer.ca

VIVMag, says: “Frankly, we’re a little tired of hearing people say things like ‘30 is the new 20’ and ‘40 is the new 30.’ So we love the title of Suzanne Braun Levine’s new book: “50 Is the New Fifty.” The first editor of Ms. magazine, Levine is no stranger to inviting a discussion on women and aging… she delivers 10 life lessons for women who are in their “second adulthood” with wisdom, honesty and humor…”

Click here to read VIVmag article.

VIVMag, the first all digital magazine for women, offers insights, advice and authentic stories to inspire and motivate women in their quest for a balanced and healthy lifestyle. Many of their members’ stories are featured online in the “VIV Moment” section – A point in your life when everything clicked and you discover something new about yourself.”

Visit VIVMag to learn more…

Celebrate “Fifty Is the New Fifty” at the JCC in Manhattan, Tuesday, May 11!

AN EVENING OF INSIGHTS, FUN, LAUGHTER AND WISDOM!

There are so many programs for Women 40+and for Seniors at the JCC in Manhattan. It is one of the liveliest communities in Manhattan. I am always happy to be part of it. I am delighted to be celebrating the release of the paperback edition of my book there on Tuesday, May 11th – with old friends and new.
Join us!
Tuesday, May 11
@ 7PM, JCC in Manhattan
The JCC in Manhattan
 334 Amsterdam Avenue (at 76th Street)
New York, NY 10023
Tel: 646-505-5708 
($15/$20 JFOFIF0050)
To register for the event, click here JJC in Manhattan {insert the long link}

TOPIC
Fifty Is the New Fifty: 10 Life Lessons 
for Women in Second Adulthood
It is fabulous to be 50, sexy to be 60, and superb
to be 70! Women are redefining these
as some of their best years yet. Join Suzanne
Braun Levine as she shares anecdotes and insights,
as well as the collective wisdom of women on the
front lines of ‘second adulthood’ – a new generation
of women who feel good about themselves.
Contact: Steffi Pfalz

Program Director for 39+ and Program Associate
 HYPERLINK spfalz@jccmanhattan.org

For information on programs at the JCC in Manhattan, visit: www.jccmanhattan.org

Director of The Women’s Institute for Freedom of the Press (WIFP) Reads “50” Books per Year!

Dr. Martha Leslie Allen logs in about 50 books per year. She keeps friends up to the minute on her current selections and her reviews on Goodreads where she has logged in 744 books to date and lists 56 as “Favorites.”

We’re posting a list of “10” of her favorite memoirs to share with “Your Circle of Trust Book Club.” Martha says, “these books are all remarkable in various ways.” And, if you are ready to write your own memoir, she suggests visiting Matilda Butler and Kendra Bonnett’s site www.womensmemoirs.com for inspiration and the essentials of women’s memoir writing.
Then, you can get started!

The Good Women of China: Hidden Voices
By Xinran

Are You Somebody?
By Nuala O’Faolain

When I Was Puerto Rican
By Esmeralda Santiago

A Russian Diary: A Journalist’s Final Account of Life, Corruption, and Death in Putin’s Russia
By Anna Politskaya

This Child Will Be Great
By Ellen Johnson Sirleaf

Born in the Big Rains: A Memoir of Somalia and Survival
By Fadumo Korn

Alicia
By Alice Appleman-Jurman

The Girl I Left Behind: A Narrative History of the Sixties
By Judith Nies

Wild Swan: Three Daughters of China
By Jung Chan

Desert Flower: The Extraordinary Journey of a Desert Nomad
By Waris Dirie

To find out more about the memoirs listed, visit www.amazon.com or the writer’s website.

The Women’s Institute for Freedom of the Press (WIFP) is a non-profit, tax-exempt research, education, and publishing organization. The organization was founded in 1972, by Dr. Donna Allen, to increase communication among women and reach the public with our experience, perspectives, and opinions.

For information on WIFP visit:
www.wifp.org

Contact: Martha Allen
Email: allen@wifp.org

Like all of you, I have a circle of friends that I try to connect with on a regular basis. For me, it’s often over lunch.  I look forward to those dates with a real hunger – for the intimacy, the chance to chronicle our lives to ourselves and each other, and the sheer delight of gazing at a well-loved face.

If too much time goes by, one or the other of us sends an e-mail titled “re: lunch?” Occasionally we need to schedule an urgent date, and then any other appointments become less urgent. Usually though we catch up, we complain, we laugh – and we recommend books to each other.  It’s no surprise to me that a love of books is bringing women together in large numbers online and in real life where comfort food and wine can result in intimate revelations and real life connections to the book or topic being discussed.

Recently, more than the usual number of very enthusiastic recommendations have come my way, and I want to share them with you. I am adding some of my own discoveries; to my surprise many of them are novels. I wonder what it means to shift my reading from non-fiction to fiction in this stage of my life.

Those of you in book clubs will have your lists to share. I hope you will post them in the comment section on the site so we can be inspired by the books and the insights of your “Circle of Trust.”

BOOKS WE LOVE

From my friend Susie
Her important new book, The Viking in the Wheat Field: A Scientist’s Struggle to Preserve the World’s Harvest, is an intimate and accessible account of a very big issue: http://thevikinginthewheatfield.com/

Summertime by J.M. Coetzee – she calls it “Wonderful. A little clever in structure…but wonderful.”
Out Stealing Horses by Per Pettersen. “I just sent this to my daughter-in-law who has just had a baby boy, as an introduction to what lies ahead.”
The Age of Wonder: How the Romantic Generation Discovered the Beauty of Science by Richard Holmes. Susie gave me this one for Christmas and based on the subtitle, I can’t wait to dig in.

From my friend Maddy

Nothing Was the Same by Kay Redfield Jamison. The story of her long marriage – a love affair that encompassed shared work as well as mental illness. An excellent video: The Big Think Interview with Kay Redfield Jamison

Shakespeare’s Kitchen by Lore Segal. Eleven inter-related short stories by an author we both love.
The Anthologist by Nicholson Baker. “Do you like poetry?” Maddy asked. “I used to,” I reply. “Well, in any case you will love this novel about a poet with writer’s block.” Sounds intriguing to me.

Books from Me

When Will There Be Good News? by Kate Atkinson. The latest of her novel/mystery/delicious character masterpieces.
The Audacity to Win: The Inside Story of Barack Obama’s Historic Victory by David Plouffe. I loved the camaraderie among smart and dedicated personalities who worked as a team.  As an inveterate “West Wing” watcher, I thought this was it in real life.
Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout. I am probably the last on my block to get to this prize-winning multifaceted view of one woman’s life. Let me put it this way: when I wasn’t stopping in awe of the writing, I was laughing out loud.

Books by Friends

Land the Job you Love! Ten Surefire Strategies for Jobseekers Over 50 by Mary Eileen Williams. She is a long-time career counselor and founder of the lively blog and radio show “Feisty Side of Fifty.”  This is good advice – simple, without being simplistic.

I have previously recommended Sugar Time, a novel by Jane Adams and Marrying George Clooney: Confessions from A Midlife Crisis a memoir by Amy Ferris. They are a perfect pair of books for all of us.

Amy’s book is heading for an off-Broadway production: http://marryinggeorgeclooney.com/blog/

Jane, who has a Ph.D. in psychology, has moved on to an important issue for many of us, working on college applications for our kids and looking ahead to the next stage of our lives. She has put together an online course that helps parents and teens get through “Transition Fever.” http://www.launchintocollege.com.

Add the Books You Love…

I know that I am not the only one who thinks of Fall as the beginning of the New Year. It’s that embedded back-to-school schedule – ours then and our children’s now. I am much more inclined to get going in October than in January.

What’s more, while my January resolutions have more to do with self-improvement (or self-criticism) – perennially “go on a diet” – my October plans are more about taking care of business and beefing up the rewarding parts of my life. This year my main resolution is to rejoin the Thursday life-drawing class that I used to enjoy, but slipped off my calendar a couple of years ago.

Here Are My Other Suggestions:

1. Keep reading books at the same pace you did during the summer. If you are finding it annoying to lug around a 500-page tomes, try a Kindle. It makes all the difference. And recommend good reads to your friends. Debbi Honorof, who recently interviewed me at a Transition Network (TTN) event, writes reviews for Long Island Woman magazine. She is very enthusiastic about Traveling With Pomegranates: A Mother-Daughter Story by Sue Monk Kidd and Ann Kidd Taylor (Viking / 2009/ $25.95). Here is how she summarizes the plot:

In Traveling with Pomegranates, Sue Monk Kidd, author of The Secret Life of Bees, and her daughter, Ann Taylor Kidd, write of their travels together and how they drew upon their respective experiences to gain clarity in their lives. Along the way, they rediscover their relationship with each other…Ann, who had been quietly suffering from depression, searches for answers about her ultimate purpose in life…Sue, who had just turned 50 when the first trip took place, was coming to terms with her transition into become an older woman.”

2. Remember Good Health is about Maintenance

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month (see links to groups you will want to connect with at the end of this feature).

While you are at it, though, be aware of other important cancer-detection opportunities you miss at your peril.

Here is what you need to know about neglecting your mammogram:
Older age is the single greatest risk factor for breast cancer in women. According to the American Cancer Society (1999), breast cancer risk increases from 1 in 67 at age 40 to 1 in 25 at age 70, and the incidence continues increasing to age 80. More than one-half of all breast cancers occur in women age 65 or over. Mammography screening has been demonstrated to reduce breast cancer mortality, especially among women in the age group 50-74 compared with those without mammography.

And consider that other regular item – the Pap smear. The risk of getting cervical cancer increases with age (over half the new cases of cervical cancer diagnosed each year are in women over 50) but the good news is that the cure rate also increases with early detection by a Pap smear.

3. Invent something – literally. I recently met two sisters who were just beginning to market their brainchild – “Not So Hot.” It is a collapsible (on a folding spring) round fan that comes in a little compact-sized bag for those times when you are the only one in the room who thinks the heat is turned up too high. (www.not-so-hot.com). Don’t we all have ideas for things we wish someone else would invent? (Mine is a dip-stick to confirm that you are really being served decaf coffee). What are we waiting for?

4. Enjoy contemplating What’s Next!

Ellen Meister, Suzanne Braun Levine, Saralee Rosenberg

We are beginning to get it – we are not our mothers’ fifty- sixty- and seventy- year-olds and we have lots to do and accomplish and discover during our Second Adulthood. So even if Next looks far off, why not begin dreaming and investigating instead of dreading and worrying? One way to share your curiosity and benefit from the discoveries of like-minded women is to join a group like The Transition Network (www.thetransitionnetwork.org) an organization with multi-city branches devoted to women making change from a professional chapter in their lives to – another professional chapter, or volunteering, or consulting, or simply discovering.

Another way of thinking about the future is to get to know Civic Ventures (I have just become a Board member), a terrific organization that encourages and rewards social entrepreneurs and the creation of what they call Encore Careers. Founded by Marc Freedman (left), author of Encore: Finding Work That Matters in the Second Half of Life, they spread the word about the value of workers over fifty and at the same time support and create opportunities for people to transition “from money to meaning.” Just reading the stories on their website will give you ideas and inspiration (www.encore.org).

5. Take Something On/Let Something Go

Our first video series – Why Fifty is the New Fifty – from the panel at Barnes and Noble in New York is now available here for FREE in Watch and Share. In “Episodes” 4 and 5, our moderator Lesley Jane Seymour, editor of More magazine and the panel – Gloria Steinem, Isabella Rossellini, Rep. Donna F. Edwards and I talk about:

Taking Risks – “What kind of risks are you willing to take on today that you weren’t when you were younger?”

Reconsidering Regrets – “What do you have absolutely no regrets about?”

Their answers may surprise you, and will surely entertain and inspire you.

Additional links for Breast Cancer Awareness Month:

Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation
http://www.dslrf.org

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month
http://www.nbcam.org/

Susan G. Komen for the Cure
www.komen.org

Breast Cancer Prevention
http://stanford.wellsphere.com/breast-cancer-prevention-cause/258185

National Women’s Health Network
http://www.nwhn.org/

FREE BOOK Fifty is the New Fifty, First 10 Comments

I don’t think there is anything more nourishing than an hour spent with a group of bright, funny and honest women friends. I got to do that – big time – last June when Gloria Steinem, Isabella Rossellini and Rep. Donna F. Edwards joined me for a discussion of the ideas in my book Fifty Is the New Fifty on a panel moderated by Lesley Jane Seymour, More magazine editor-in-chief. We were cheered on by a lively standing-room-only audience of like-minded women and a good showing of men.

Many themes emerged – so did outbursts of hilarity – and I will report on others in the future. To set the scene, as Lesley did, each panelist was asked to tell us which of the “10 Life Lessons for Women in Second Adulthood” (complete list below) spoke most meaningfully to her.

Gloria said: “I love ‘Both’ Is the New Either/Or’ because either/or-ness comes from falsely dividing human nature into masculine and feminine instead of seeing all of us as human. But I think the Life Lesson that I need the most is ‘Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes.’ The good news and the bad news about change for me is that I find myself doing over again what it is that I already know how to do. Since I’m the oldest one here – 75 – the good news is that I can still do what I’ve always done. The bad news is that I think I’m immortal, which then causes me to plan very poorly.”

Donna, who decided to run for Congress (from Maryland) as she approached fifty, singled out ‘Every Crisis Creates a New Normal.’ “When I first started running for Congress, because I look much younger, people would look at me and miss-guess my age; I thought it was really important to say, ‘No, I’m fifty’ (even though I was only 48 at the time) because I have a 20-year-old son, so if people were guessing that I was thirty-five – you do the math. But I really don’t want to be any of those younger ages. I love where I am – it’s so liberating. When a crisis comes, you just kind of breathe right through it. It feels really good.”

Isabella was grateful for the book’s overall message about age. “Being mostly a model and an actress, I was told that growing old was going to be very difficult, so I was bracing for it. Instead I found as I aged, I continued to grow a certain lightness and a certain pleasure and a certain freedom. Maybe you have taken care of children and all the things that you are brought up saying that you have to do, and at a certain point you feel that it has to be my turn, because if I don’t do it now when would I? The chapter called ‘Do Unto Yourself as You Have Been doing Unto Others’ made me think about how being so much at the service of others is the way were growing up.”

When it was my turn, I had to admit, as all of the others had done in passing, that saying ‘No’ was the hardest for me. “I think men will never understand how hard that is for us. I always thought that if I said no the world would end and everybody would hate me. I am constantly surprised how little trauma happens when I say no. The nice thing about being this age is that you feel you can take it. But I do think that no is going to be the one that sticks with us.”

Lesley was most taken with “‘Age Is Not a Disease.’ “I want to say to everybody at More and to women who are afraid to mention their age or talk about age and to the celebrities who want to be on the cover but don’t want to talk about their age is ‘ You guys are going there whether you like it or not!’”

We all enjoyed a good laugh at that one.

http://www.more.com

Which lesson applies to you? Meant the most to you?

First 10 comments receive a FREE copy of FIFTY IS THE NEW FIFTY (be sure to include your email address so we can contact you).

10 LIFE LESSONS FOR WOMEN IN SECOND ADULTHOOD

Fifty is the New Fifty

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

No Is Not a Four-Letter Word

A “Circle of Trust” Is a Must

Every Crisis Creates a “New Normal”

Do Unto Yourself as You Have Been Doing Unto Others

Age is Not a Disease

Your Marriage Can Make It

You Do Know What You Want to Do with the Rest of Your Life