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“Experience isn’t what happens to you, it’s what you do with what happens to you.”

– Alduous Huxley

By Mary Eileen Williams, M.A., NCC

If you’re over fifty and looking for work, you probably have a slew of preconceived notions about how bad the job market is for older applicants. You are also likely to have a number of concerns and questions that need to be addressed.

In the course of my twenty years of experience as a career counselor and job search specialist, I’ve counseled thousands of midlife career changers and jobseekers and—believe me—I’ve heard it all. Here are a few of the typical concerns that surface:

I’m too old to be competitive in today’s youth-oriented marketplace.
I haven’t updated my resume in over fifteen years and have no idea what they’re looking for now.
I realize I’ve got skills but I’m not sure how to name them or be able to speak to any of my accomplishments at work. I did my job and did it well, but I don’t know how to market myself. In fact, I don’t like tooting my own horn.
I don’t have a college degree.
My technical skills aren’t that up-to-date.
How can I interview with someone who’s in his or her thirties?

And making matters even more discouraging, seemingly everywhere we turn, the job market is described with words such as “bleak,” “slow to recover,” and “with limited prospects.” This, we’re told, is especially true for the older applicant.

There’s no doubt about it—ageism is alive and well in this country. However, if you’re a jobseeker who is over fifty, you probably remember the phrase we used to say in our youth with such smug conviction: “Don’t trust anyone over thirty!” We can’t deny that boomers coined the phrase “generation gap,” so ageism is far from new.

Regardless, there are certain key strategies you can use that will highlight your age and experience, and make you more attractive to potential employers. Now, I’m not suggesting we delude ourselves with pie-in-the-sky fantasies and wishful thinking. What I am suggesting is that we take a deep breath and get some perspective:

The media knows bad news sells so that’s just what they spin: bad news on just about everything.
The figures they cite are drawn from generalities and take no account of the personal drive, focus, and energy an individual puts into his/her job search.
Certain industries and occupations are far more welcoming to older applicants than others. Why not concentrate your search on fields that appreciate the knowledge that age and experience provide?

If it looks like an employer will not appreciate the experience you bring, move on! Do NOT waste your valuable energy seeking possibilities that are limited at best. Even if you are hired, they’re not likely to afford you opportunities for growth within the organization. Move forward and place your energy and focus on new opportunities where your experience will be welcomed (and appreciated!).
Determine the potential age-related objections an employer might hold regarding you as a candidate—do something about them (if needed) and create a list of ways you can overcome these objections.
Turn your age into an advantage.

Yes, there’s no doubt about it—age truly can be an advantage! So now let’s turn to ways that you, as an older applicant, have it all over those young whippersnappers:

You have market knowledge and a skill set gained over years of experience.
You have an extensive network of clients, customers, coworkers, and colleagues developed over a lifetime career.
You are likely to be more flexible and can present yourself as a full-time employee or as a consultant.
You are not necessarily assertively climbing the corporate ladder so you won’t pose a threat to the more aggressive up-and-comers.
You have the knowledge and ability to mentor younger workers and teach them valuable techniques and tools that translate into ongoing success for the organization.
You have life skills gained over years of experience dealing with people. You know the importance of being responsible, showing up on time, following through to complete assigned tasks, managing emotions at work, and being a contributing team member.
The workforce is aging. Workers over fifty represent one of the fastest growing labor groups in the country and you fit right in. The cost of replacing experienced workers can be as much as half their annual salary, so companies are recognizing that recruiting and retaining workers over fifty is sound business practice.

And these are just a few of the pluses you bring. Your attitude about your viability as a candidate and your potential for finding work underscores everything you do. Anyone actively seeking employment needs to project an aura of energy, enthusiasm, knowledge, and confidence. This is especially true for those of us with a few years under our belts. Some of the more unkind stereotypes have us being “old,” “tired,” “unenthusiastic,” and “technologically inept.” So let’s get out there and prove them wrong!

Mary Eileen Williams, M.A., NCC, has twenty years of combined experience as a career and life transition counselor, job search specialist, university instructor, and writer. As a Nationally Board Certified Counselor with a Master’s Degree in Career Development, she specializes in working with job seekers in midlife and showing them the latest techniques for landing a job in the 21st Century. Mary Eileen is the host of the popular blog and radio show “Feisty Side of Fifty” www.feistysideofifty.com.

LAND THE JOB YOU LOVE: 10 Surefire Strategies for Jobseekers Over 50

To order from Amazon: http://bit.ly/8xi4Oo

“FIFTY IS THE NEW FIFTY” -
For Immediate Release from Plume Books
We are ALL at the height of our Power!

“Well the first thing I want to say about Fifty is the New Fifty, is that it’s not the whole title. The whole title is 50 is the New Fifty, 60 is the new Sixty and 70 is the New Seventy…and who cares about birthdays anyway. The best thing is that we are all at the height of our power, and we feel that this is the most exciting time.”
-Suzanne Braun Levine

“I was told being mostly a model and an actress that growing old was going to be very difficult for me, so I was bracing myself. Instead I found that with age what continued to grow was a certain lightness, and a certain pleasure and freedom, and it was wonderful to read Fifty is the New Fifty and see that a lot of women feel that.”
- Isabella Rossellini

“I love where I am, it’s so liberating, I love being 50. When there’s a crisis you just kind of breathe right through it. It feels really good.”
- Rep. Donna F. Edwards (D-MD)

“I want to say to everybody at More magazine and to women who are afraid to mention their age or talk about age, and to the celebrities who want to be on the cover, but don’t want to talk about their age: ’You guys are going there whether you like it or not!’”
- Lesley Jane Seymour

“I’m especially grateful to Suzanne for the overall title of Fifty is the New Fifty, because it’s like the Zen message of aging, ‘We are where we are.’ And, I’m also grateful to her for expanding her title – I’m 75. The good news is I can still do what I’ve always done. But, the bad news is I think I’m immortal which then causes me to plan very poorly.”
-Gloria Steinem

___________________________________________

From the moment she took her “first step” backward off a ninety-foot cliff in an Outward Bound Program, to fulfill a personal mission and reconnect with her inner Tomboy at fifty, Suzanne Braun Levine has invented her own second adulthood.  Her declaration: “Fifty is the New Fifty it is not the new Thirty,” on the opening page of FIFTY IS THE NEW FIFTY: 10 Life Lessons for Women in Second Adulthood (Now Available in Paperback/ Plume/ April 2010) celebrates the confidence and camaraderie of women fifty, sixty and seventy who are happy where they are and would not want to turn the clock back.

FIFTY IS THE NEW FIFTY and her previous book Inventing The Rest of Our Lives have defined and inspired a generation of women. “Our bond is common experience and the honesty with which we share it,” says Levine.

As women become the largest sector of the work force and the major breadwinners in many households, their roles are changing and new role models are emerging. Women in Second Adulthood – 37 million strong and growing are becoming each other’s ‘horizontal role models’, taking charge of their life, work and relationships.

What is important about second adulthood, Levine has found is that “the range of things we learn about ourselves – our bodies, our brains, our relationships and our approach to the world -  is as wide as it was when we were adolescents.” It is a stage filled with questioning what’s next, a quest for mastery and authenticity, and wondering ‘Who is this person saying NO’ with confidence and a new bravado. Levine describes this questioning period – the Fertile Void - with exuberance and candor.

FIFTY IS THE NEW FIFTY: 10 Life Lessons for Women in Second Adulthood reads like a conversation among women friends – a circle of trust – who are generous, brave, funny, wise, and engaged in claiming their empowerment. Whether, it is rolling with the punches of a crisis (recovering from a divorce or cancer), seeing risks as opportunities, saying ‘No’ (“No, I won’t make cupcakes!”), questioning the meaning of work or putting themselves at the top of their ‘To Do List,’ Levine has captured the details of women’s changing lives. And, she has transformed their lives and her own into life lessons grounded in the experiences of women on the front lines of this new stage.

The ‘lessons’ in the book are a distillation of interviews with individual women, callers to radio shows, and her many lecturer appearances for groups like the Transition Network  and her own circle of trust.  She compares the ‘truths’ of this on-going conversation  with women to those shared by mothers who find themselves on adjoining benches at a playground – tidbits of advice and commiserating about body changes, sleepless nights, and ultimately leading up to a rousing tide of knowing laughter. Recognizing the importance of friendship is part of a recalibration of ‘What Matters Most’ to women in second adulthood. Whether it is dealing with the loss of a friend or sharing the simple companionship of like-minded women which Levine says, “gives us courage, reduces stress, and is the best problem-solving environment there is, and the laughter women generate together is the elixir of life.”

“My hope is this book is like a welcome message in a bottle for women sent to them by a circle of trust, a circle that continues to grow and evolve,” says Levine. “We all have a lot more to share and I will be along on the journey to chronicle our every step.”

About Suzanne Braun Levine
Suzanne Braun Levine is a writer, editor and nationally recognized authority on women and family issues, and media. She’s chronicled and fostered change in women’s lives as the first editor of Ms. magazine and today as a contributing editor of More magazine. She is a lecturer, appears frequently on television, and is an advisor to several women’s and media groups, and organizations dealing with midlife issues. She defined a new stage of life – Women in Second Adulthood – and reports on the ongoing changes in women’s lives in her books and on her website.

Questions for Suzanne Braun Levine

What is the ‘Good News’ about being Fifty, Sixty, Seventy?
Women in Second Adulthood don’t want to be younger. They don’t buy into, “Fifty is the New Thirty!” and are happy where they are!

This is new stage is exhilarating. It is defined by change, the urge to bring new elements into the mix of our lives, to revise our established lifestyle, and most important, we feel empowered and confident that we can cope with whatever comes.

And, this is ‘Good News’ not only for my generation but also for younger women because they now have role models for what is possible after 50!

What is the ‘Bad News’ if there is any? What hasn’t changed enough?
Two things haven’t changed near enough. One is the burden of caregiving that falls upon women of all ages without any support from the society we live in. The other is ageism. It is very hard to convince yourself that you are as happy and fulfilled as you feel when the world around you is blowing you off. We have to make sure that we don’t make things worse by buying into the youth obsession.

Which of the 10 Lessons in the book was the hardest for you? The easiest?
The most difficult – and I think men will never understand how hard it is for women – was Lesson #4 – “No is not a Four-Letter Word.” Saying ‘No’ is extremely difficult for women. But now, I am constantly surprised how little trauma happens when I say No. I always thought the world would come to an end and everybody would hate me.  I realized that most of the time it’s accepted as the natural order of things – you say, no, you say, yes – sometimes they come after you, but the nice thing about being this age is you feel like you can take it.

I don’t know about easiest, but the corollary to Saying No is “Do Unto Yourself as You Have Been Doing Unto Others” Lesson #6. Women are taught to be selfless, but once you start to say ‘No’ you find out what you need and want to do.

How do you gather the life stories that you use throughout the book?
Writing books about my life and women in second adulthood gives me an excuse to butt in to people’s lives. I eavesdrop on conversations; I ask impertinent questions of women I meet; I ask very personal questions of my friends. And I use my network and the Internet to find women with experiences to share.  I am amazed and touched by how forthright, funny, and smart we all are.

How has your life changed since you began writing about women in Second Adulthood?
In figuring out what is going on for our generation of women, I have figured out a lot about the confusion, fear, and expectations that hit me as I entered this new stage of life – the part I call the ‘Fertile Void.’  It has also been exhilarating gaining insight into my life from hundreds of other women, dozens of experts, and some of the smartest writers and researchers.

And, by writing about it I have found my own voice for the first time in my life. I had always been an editor and so at first it was difficult for me put my [own story into my writing], but my editor convinced me. The more I realized that I had things to say, the more I was anxious to say them, and the prouder I was of having said them. Putting my ideas and myself out there was, in fact, the biggest risk.

Are you writing another book on Second Adulthood? What will you be exploring next?

My next book is about – get ready for this – LOVE!  The more I learn about how we are getting to know ourselves and how we are redefining women’s experience, the more I am aware of changes we are making in the way we love, whom we love, and how we define intimacy, devotion, passion, and commitment. I am encountering wonderful stories that I am sure will surprise and delight women – those who have read my other books and those who are beginning to question the changes they are experiencing.

For Interviews, please contact:

Buy the book from PenguinGroup.com

FIFTY IS THE NEW FIFTY:
Ten Life Lessons for Women in Second Adulthood
By Suzanne Braun Levine
Author of Inventing the Rest of Our Lives

One of the fun things authors get to do for the paperback edition of their book is work with the publisher on a Reader’s Guide for Book Clubs. The publication date for “Fifty is the New Fifty: 10 Life Lessons for Women in Second Adulthood” is March 30th.

In advance of the publication, we’re posting the Plume Edition Reader’s Guide here. Many women have told me the book inspired numerous conversations with their sisters, mothers and friends. I hope the guide leads to even more sharing, laugher and intimacy. And, that you’ll share your thoughts on this site.

INTRODUCTION

“A Circle of Trust is a Must for Women”
Like the “Circle of Trust” Suzanne describes in Fifty is the New Fifty, book clubs give women the opportunity to be together – to read and share stories, to find community and support and laughter (plus scrumptious food and lots of wine!). That is how we help each other invent the rest of our lives.

In her first book, Inventing the Rest of Our Lives, Suzanne identified Second Adulthood as “a new stage of life that women are defining as they live it.” With Fifty is the New Fifty, she expands on earlier themes and captures the exuberance, personal breakthroughs, life changing moments, and stories of friends, family members, and countless women she has met on this journey.
Rich with expert voices, up-to-date scientific research, and Suzanne’s personal insights, this book inspires an important conversation about a life experience women describe as reinvention – and mainstream media often dismisses as “aging” (read “invisible”).

Fifty is the New Fifty: Ten Life Lessons for Women in Second Adulthood is a distillation of insights, anecdotes and wisdom from women like those in your reading group. Sharing personal anecdotes is the way we empower each other, so review the ten lessons and decide which ones resonate with you. Like each of our lives, every conversation about our lives is different.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Happy (?) Birthday

On the opening page of Fifty is the New Fifty, Suzanne says, “Some people think the reinvention process means, ‘Fifty is the new thirty!’ as if the reward for what is a major shift in outlook is a new lease on youth.” Not so; in fact, she continues, women fifty, sixty and seventy are happy where they are and wouldn’t want to turn the clock back. Have the members of your book club talked about your ages with each other? Have you celebrated milestone birthdays together? What has moving on from fifty been like for each of you?

Have you heard yourself say “I don’t care what other people think any more”?

Most women find themselves liberated by the feistiness that comes with the new territory. Can you remember the first time you spoke up in a situation in which you would have kept quiet before? How did it make you feel? Discuss the way other peoples’ opinions influence our behavior.

Do you want to say “NO!” when they try to seat you and your friends at the back of the restaurant?

Suzanne says that most women have grown up being encouraged to say “yes” (except, of course, to sex). But, by fifty many of us are finding the courage to say, “NO!” It is scary but very exhilarating moment to hear yourself say: “No! I don’t want to do that!” “No! I don’t like you.” Can you think of a situation(s) that made you feel empowered when you said: “No?”

Are you a risk-taker?

Most women in Second Adulthood grew up when girls were expected to play by very restrictive rules. Can you remember occasions when you felt held back? Not taken seriously? Discouraged from trying to do something dangerous or different? How do you feel about taking on a big challenge today?

What effect did the Women’s Movement have on your life?

Sports, professions, language, fashion, life styles have all changed for women in the last forty years. Many of the changes have been controversial. Which have most impacted you? How are the prospects for your daughters (and sons) different from yours at their age?

How do you feel about changes taking place in your body?

For women, our bodies are the front line in the confrontation with the “age is a disease” notion. How we care for our bodies is one of our major responsibilities. But, sometimes when a showdown with our body happens, Suzanne reminds us, the best response is laughter. What are some of the body issues you have resolved? And haven’t resolved? What is the most hilarious revelation about your aging body?

Does your to-do list include you?

How many times have you postponed something as simple as washing your hair or reading a book because family needs come up that push you off your own agenda? Have you made any adjustments to reclaim time for you? Have you begun to think about doing unto yourself as you have for others?

What about your work future?

Work is very important to many women’s lives, and as Suzanne points out, the notion of “retirement” is put on the table just as many women are hitting their stride professionally and many others are reentering the workforce. Plus, the general economy is a major factor. What is your experience in the workplace? What are your expectations for work in the future? Would things look different if you went from being a partner to being alone–or vice versa?
If you are changing, how is your marriage doing? 
As women are recalibrating all of their relationships, a long-term marriage can, for the first time in years perhaps, move to the front burner. The emotional pot is simmering. How has your marriage changed over time? Have you grown closer or further apart? Is there ongoing struggle in your marriage? If so, is it about power and decision-making? Money? Sex? Would you say that your definition of love has changed?

Which Life Lesson in Fifty is the New Fifty is most meaningful to you? Which one do you want to work on?

Like all of you, I have a circle of friends that I try to connect with on a regular basis. For me, it’s often over lunch.  I look forward to those dates with a real hunger – for the intimacy, the chance to chronicle our lives to ourselves and each other, and the sheer delight of gazing at a well-loved face.

If too much time goes by, one or the other of us sends an e-mail titled “re: lunch?” Occasionally we need to schedule an urgent date, and then any other appointments become less urgent. Usually though we catch up, we complain, we laugh – and we recommend books to each other.  It’s no surprise to me that a love of books is bringing women together in large numbers online and in real life where comfort food and wine can result in intimate revelations and real life connections to the book or topic being discussed.

Recently, more than the usual number of very enthusiastic recommendations have come my way, and I want to share them with you. I am adding some of my own discoveries; to my surprise many of them are novels. I wonder what it means to shift my reading from non-fiction to fiction in this stage of my life.

Those of you in book clubs will have your lists to share. I hope you will post them in the comment section on the site so we can be inspired by the books and the insights of your “Circle of Trust.”

BOOKS WE LOVE

From my friend Susie
Her important new book, The Viking in the Wheat Field: A Scientist’s Struggle to Preserve the World’s Harvest, is an intimate and accessible account of a very big issue: http://thevikinginthewheatfield.com/

Summertime by J.M. Coetzee – she calls it “Wonderful. A little clever in structure…but wonderful.”
Out Stealing Horses by Per Pettersen. “I just sent this to my daughter-in-law who has just had a baby boy, as an introduction to what lies ahead.”
The Age of Wonder: How the Romantic Generation Discovered the Beauty of Science by Richard Holmes. Susie gave me this one for Christmas and based on the subtitle, I can’t wait to dig in.

From my friend Maddy

Nothing Was the Same by Kay Redfield Jamison. The story of her long marriage – a love affair that encompassed shared work as well as mental illness. An excellent video: The Big Think Interview with Kay Redfield Jamison

Shakespeare’s Kitchen by Lore Segal. Eleven inter-related short stories by an author we both love.
The Anthologist by Nicholson Baker. “Do you like poetry?” Maddy asked. “I used to,” I reply. “Well, in any case you will love this novel about a poet with writer’s block.” Sounds intriguing to me.

Books from Me

When Will There Be Good News? by Kate Atkinson. The latest of her novel/mystery/delicious character masterpieces.
The Audacity to Win: The Inside Story of Barack Obama’s Historic Victory by David Plouffe. I loved the camaraderie among smart and dedicated personalities who worked as a team.  As an inveterate “West Wing” watcher, I thought this was it in real life.
Olive Kitteridge by Elizabeth Strout. I am probably the last on my block to get to this prize-winning multifaceted view of one woman’s life. Let me put it this way: when I wasn’t stopping in awe of the writing, I was laughing out loud.

Books by Friends

Land the Job you Love! Ten Surefire Strategies for Jobseekers Over 50 by Mary Eileen Williams. She is a long-time career counselor and founder of the lively blog and radio show “Feisty Side of Fifty.”  This is good advice – simple, without being simplistic.

I have previously recommended Sugar Time, a novel by Jane Adams and Marrying George Clooney: Confessions from A Midlife Crisis a memoir by Amy Ferris. They are a perfect pair of books for all of us.

Amy’s book is heading for an off-Broadway production: http://marryinggeorgeclooney.com/blog/

Jane, who has a Ph.D. in psychology, has moved on to an important issue for many of us, working on college applications for our kids and looking ahead to the next stage of our lives. She has put together an online course that helps parents and teens get through “Transition Fever.” http://www.launchintocollege.com.

Add the Books You Love…

As those of you know who have already filled out my questionnaire about intimacy, I am working on a book about how this mysterious, precious, and elusive condition is experienced by women in our fifties, sixties and seventies. The valentine season is an invitation to issue a progress report on my findings.

Mysterious and personal as love is, it knows no age limits.  Studies of the brain chemistry of people in love revealed neurological activity that was “the same whether the individual as 18 or 50-plus,” says Helen Fisher who conducted the research. “The body gets older but the basic emotion – the need to be in love – remains the same.”

The longing for intimacy is particularly strong and particularly poignant in a time of emotional turmoil, as the transition to Second Adulthood is. We are well aware of how many relationships are foundering at this stage and of the widows who are finding themselves alone for the first time in their lives. We know how hard it is for older women to find companionship, sex and understanding. What we don’t know enough about is how love is for those who are experiencing it. This may be because the women who are enriching or finding love are afraid of jinxing it by talking about it, or they may be afraid to “gloat” when their friends are complaining of loneliness and no sex lives. If we knew more about how love is pursued, found, and sustained by women like us, we would be able to learn from their experience. The first thing we would learn is that love is very different in Second Adulthood.

There are many people to whom I regularly say, “I love you” – and mean it. But – as my outlook, my priorities and relationships have been reconsidered in recent years – the feeling feels different. By this, my third book on the life changes that are Second Adulthood, I know that if I want to figure out what is going on for me, I need to check in with other women about their lives.  When I did, I heard stories about all kinds of surprising and nurturing, life-long and unconventional connections.  Of the countless women who are experiencing this new intimacy, many have hit the cob-webbed stone wall that we have climbed so many times since we began to tell the truth about our lives: “I must be the only one who feels this way” and/ or “I must be crazy.” No and no, I have found.

The first thing I noticed in the interviews was the “eyes light up” factor – the delight with which they would talk about a special person – a partner, a grandchild, a friend, a special student or mentee, even a beloved pet. This expression of comfort and joy is not only metaphorical; the glow is due to a literal shot of hormonal delight that nature has granted us throughout our lives.  Countless studies show that in moments of intimacy oxytocin – the so-called “cuddle” or “social bonding” hormone – is released into the blood stream. The first bond is the gaze between mother and child, but others accumulate throughout our lives with every trusting and tender relationship we establish.

As those “eyes-light-up” conversations got going, we asked each other these questions:

Why am I more confident of being able to count on those I love than before?

Why do I feel more intensely about the inner orbit of my intimate world and less about the people in the outer rings?

Why am I clearer about what I expect from those I love and more accepting of what can’t be changed?

Why do I accept and sometimes cherish the places where love cannot go – where I am on my own?

Why is love more fun now?

The answers to such questions have a lot to do with who is doing the loving. The rocky ride into Second Adulthood has called upon resources we didn’t know we had. For many the first challenges are the result of fall-out from the liberating defiance that washes over us as our estrogen retreats.  At some point each of us blurts out the unexpected revelation “I don’t care what people think anymore!” After a lifetime of seeking as much approval as possible, the notion of rejecting it is mind-blowing. That phrase becomes the rallying cry of what I call The Fuck You Fifties (a naughty double entendre in this context).

Speaking truth and especially speaking truth to power become the currency, and discovering the truth about ourselves – authenticity – become a goal. Not the classic ingredients of a love story.  But we are writing a new one.

LOVE, SEX, AND THE NEW INTIMACY QUESTIONNAIRE…

Paperback Edition from Plume Books

I’ve been advised to write an upbeat end-of-year note – to reinforce the message of my writing, which is that women over fifty are feeling upbeat about themselves and their prospects. And that certainly applies to me. My kids and friends are good; my husband has opened the art gallery of his dreams; and my mother is drifting off peacefully (so far). I have reconnected with old friends, which is an amazing gift; my longtime friends continue to nourish me and one another (one had major back surgery, but is recovering) and continue to do good work.

I have been energized by the groups of women I have talked with about where our lives are and about Fifty Is the New Fifty (which is coming out in paperback in the spring). Moreover, what could be more optimistic on my part than starting a new book – about love, no less!

BUT I find it hard to be encouraged about the world we are living in.  Every time something good looks about to happen, it is undermined by greed or vengeance or negativity or failure of will. Decent people struggle, poor people suffer, nature is assaulted, and the people in charge seem more interested in wielding power than using it to change things.  As Big Daddy keeps bellowing (in “Cat on A Hot Tin Roof”) mendacity is everywhere.

So, is there anything upbeat to say about the new year and the new decade?  I think so.  Because of the energy, decency, and courage of countless people like those I meet and write about and love, I do believe that change is possible. That is my message to myself. I want to bring my own sense of empowerment to the world beyond my own. And I intend to do that by taking my own words to heart and adapting some of the Life Lessons from Fifty Is The New Fifty to my 2010 game plan.

NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES.  It is one thing to hope for change; it is another thing to get it moving.  I know – and I intend to keep reminding myself – that even the smallest movement in the right direction can set off a chain of meaningful consequences.

NO IS NOT A FOUR LETTER WORD.  I plan to make it my business to say “no” more often, especially when my inclination is to look the other way or give in.

AGE IS NOT A DISEASE. When I attribute my what-a-mess attitude to becoming the stereotypical crotchety old lady, whose life work is to complain until she drops, I will remind myself that I am at the most influential and dynamic stage of my life, and I’d better use it, not lose it..

BOTH IS THE NEW EITHER/OR. Seeing things in black and white, denouncing flawed behavior, dismissing a good action from a bad source – that kind of thinking has to go. The mellowness and ability to roll with the punches that has come to us as we become older and wiser can keep us on a search for the best outcome under the circumstances.

A “CIRCLE OF TRUST” IS A MUST. Since what is so discouraging in my current world view is a lack of trust in our institutions, our leaders, and human nature, I must look to the people I do trust and the good that they are doing for inspiration – as well as love.
If each of us can be what I call a “Horizontal Role Model” for the rest of us, we can make 2010 a year that counts for ourselves and for the future.

http://www.bluestonegallerymilford.com