I have always thought of Mother’s Day as a celebration of my mother, the Main Mom in the family. I made plans designed to please her and honor her on her Day. Eight months ago she died, and so this year, for the first time, I am the last mom standing. It is a weird feeling to have the day to myself, especially when my inclination is to spend it missing her. Yet when I think of the two of us as mothers, I see the two-way street that runs between a mother and her daughter-as-mother. It is the most intimate connection between one generation and the other, I think, because it is as mothers that we share the most profound experience of our lives – the joyous moments and the painful doubts, the need to be appreciated and the even stronger need to be reassured that we did the best we could.

The day after my daughter was born my mother gave me a gaudy pink plaque that read NUMBER #1 MOM. At the time, I thought the evaluation was somewhat premature, but as the years go by I look to where it sits on the shelf above my kitchen sink in times of parental defeat and self-doubt and find reassurance in the message. In those moments it reminds me of a secret we mothers share – that as much as we all want to be a Number One Mom, none of us feels like she is, by acknowledging that secret we empower each other to appreciate that each of us is as good as it gets.

Happy Mother’s Day – and keep up the good work!



Dear Suzanne,

I’m half-way through your terrific book, and couldn’t wait to write you; I’m underlining on every page, and have just ordered two more copies, gift-wrapped, for friends turning fifty.

A few months ago, my own book, The Gift of an Ordinary Day: A Mother’s Memoir, was published by Grand Central. I didn’t know it till this morning, when I began reading yours, that what I’d actually written was missive from deep within The Fertile Void. There were many times, during the writing when I completely lost confidence in what I was doing. (I’d send chapters to my mom, asking, “Will anyone be interested in this?” And she would call to say, “Well, I’m interested, but of course, I KNOW you.” Not terribly encouraging.) When the book came out, it felt uncomfortable, as if I were running around town in my pajamas — not exactly naked, but weirdly exposed
and vulnerable. And then the letters started coming in, from women who said, “I feel as if you are writing the thoughts in my mind.”
That’s when I began to relax, and to realize that, as you say, we are all more alike than different. And that we can find our Horizontal
Role Models at every turn. My readers are my role models these days, as I am theirs; the conversation has been amazing.

Anyway, I love your website, and your message. At fifty-one, I have already found myself hesitating on occasion to reveal my age, because
I think that the younger mothers who write to me will feel that I’m too out of touch with their challenges. And then they surprise me, by saying that I give them some idea of what lies ahead, just up the road and around the corner from where they are.

I’d love to send you a copy of my book, if you tell me where to send it. And I hope you’ll drop in on my website too. (My great claim to
fame at the moment is a YouTube video that’s making the rounds–a total surprise, but I’m also really proud of it; in a way, the process
of writing–and then going out to meet my readers–has led me out of the Fertile Void into a brand new place.)

All best, and thank you for writing the perfect book!

Katrina Kenison

http://www.katrinakenison.com

Click here to watch the YouTube Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olSyCLJU3O0

Lesson Number Six in FIFTY IS THE NEW FIFTY is ”Do Unto Yourself as You Have Been doing Unto Others.” What that means is simply pay attention to – nurture – yourself the way you do those you love. It does not mean withholding from others or being selfish. Doing unto yourself is about adding yourself to your own “to-do” list. Being self-FULL!

Enjoy Mother’s Day!
Share our card with every nurturing soul you are lucky enough to have in your life.

——-

“Do Unto Yourself…
As You Have Been Doing Unto Others.”

Happy Mother’s Day

——-

Just Add Lilacs

The Lilac Crowned Bouquet Cupcake on the card was created by Emilie Hardman (QuintanaRoo on Flickr), who is experienced at inventing the rest of her life.  She describes herself as an academic, turned archivist, turned baker/researcher/writer/instructor. A committed environmentalist, she says if she had a sign on her bike, it would read: “I break for ethically produced chocolate.”

These days she is creating cakes, cupcakes, gourmet vegan cooking, “food porn” photography and an award-winning blog – the conscious kitchen.

http://www.consciouskitchen.net/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/quintanaroo/501706047/