Join The New York City Chapter of The Transition Network for an evening with Suzanne Braun Levine sharing her groundbreaking, funny, poignant stories, interviews and research on the many ways women are finding love, and redefining their relationships in Second Adulthood.”

Her new book, How We Love Now, is “the third chapter” in her ongoing conversation with women over 50.

Save the Date! An inspiring evening awaits!

“Reinventing Love in Second Adulthood with Suzanne Braun Levine”

Thursday, February 16, 2012
Time: 5:45 to 8:00 PM
Location: Community Church of New York – 40 East 35th Street (bet. Madison and Park)
Email: rsvp@thetransitionnetwork.org

Register for event:
Members: $20
Non-Members $30
http://bit.ly/AEsrrF

Our Newsletter:
http://bit.ly/zxF3Xl

The New York City Chapter has members from all 5 boroughs as well as some of the close areas of northern New Jersey and Westchester Country.  TTN NYC is the largest chapter with more than 550 members.

Photo by Eleanor Foa Dienstag

For more information about the NYC Chapter, please contact us at NYCChapter@thetransitionnetwork.org.

The chapter’s vitality is reflected in the opportunities available to members to make new connections, learn, grow and enjoy this stage in our lives. 

Monthly meetings are on the Third Thursday when TTN women gather to socialize, welcome new members, and find out what’s happening in the chapter.  There are also special events and peer groups to join.

THE TRANSITION NETWORK (TTN) is an inclusive community of professional women, 50 and forward whose changing life situations lead them to seek new connections, resources, and opportunities. For additional information, see: www.thetransitionnetwork.org

By Cyma Shapiro, founder
MotheringintheMiddle.com

“You’re Not Who You were Only Older,”
Suzanne Braun Levine

I haven’t written a book review for Mothering, yet, since I believe our readers are a widely diverse group of women representing many ages, interests and ideologies. So, when I received How We Love Now, I wasn’t sure what I would do with it, other than read it.

Nearly four pages into the book, I wrote Suzanne’s dear friend, Karin, to thank her for this wonderful gift. Likewise, I hope my writing will peak your interest enough that you will buy this book.

Like Christiane Northrup’s The Wisdom of Menopause, Nancy Alspaugh-Jackson and Marilyn Kentz’s Not Your Mothers Midlife, Katrina Kenison’s Gift of An Ordinary Day and Mothers; Doreen Nagle’s But I Don’t Feel Too Old to Be a Mommy, Levine’s How We Love Now should sit on your shelf as a beloved old friend – there when you need it, available to hold, and ready to provide support and answers for your every need. In fact, some of these books should be a friend for life. How We Love Now is my new BFF.

Continue reading…

Cyma Shapiro is the writer and creator of NURTURE: Stories of New Midlife Mothers (www.MidlifeMothers.org) dedicated to promoting the lives of women choosing motherhood over 40 and a traveling art gallery show. The Mothering in the Middle blog for new midlife mothers –  www.MotheringintheMiddle.com – intersperses daily experiences with thoughtful commentary and essays and occasionally featuring guest writers. She is currently working on a number of creative projects, including an anthology for and by midlife mothers: NURTURE: Stories of New Midlife Mothers. 

It seems self-evident that generations can reinforce each other – by sharing the stories of their lives, by working together, and by living together in communities that are responsive to the needs of citizens of all ages. But those communities are too few and far between.

A national organization called generations united™ — supported by the Met Life Foundation — wants to find five of those special communities and honor them for being “on the cutting edge of intergenerational planning and living.”

Founded in 1986, the organization is a catalyst for change and works in collaboration with 100 national, state and local groups representing 70 million Americans. Their mission is “improving the lives of children, youth and older adults through intergenerational collaboration, public policies, and programs.” It is the only national membership organization “building bridges between generations.”

Check out the Awards Announcement [Deadline for Applications: January 31, 2012] and the wonderful profiles of multigenerational families on their site at “Donna’s Blog.”

generations united™
Because we’re stronger together®
www.gu.org

We're Looking for America's Best Intergenerational Communities

My new book How We Love Now is out this week.

The date was chosen because in publishing January is “self-improvement month.” The thinking is that at the start of the New Year we want to repent for all the guilty pleasures we indulged in over the holidays. Which is also why we make resolutions — to become better than we are. Oy, the guilt.

But Second Adulthood is about shedding that kind of guilt, along with many other emotional and psychological burdens that get in the way of inventing the rest of our lives. So I am proposing a new kind of resolution, a guilt-free and empowering resolving of unnecessary conflicts and contradictions that freeze us in place…

To read the entire article click here.

Please share the article, your comments and thoughts!

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This has been quite a month!

First of all, I finally held in my hands a copy of my new book How We Love Now; it has been eighteen months since I finished it, and at last it is real. The scary part is that it will soon be in the hands of actual readers, and while I am anxious to hear if it resonates with other women, I am less anxious to hear if it doesn’t, which will undoubtedly happen.

More good news in connection with the book is that I have been invited to speak about it by several of The Transition Network (TTN) chapters around the country starting in San Francisco (where my talk is also sponsored by Civic Ventures and Coming of Age: Bay Area). When I began writing about Second Adulthood just after the turn of the century (I love the sound of that!), one of my first stops was a TTN meeting. The organization was just getting started, and the energy and vision of its founders, Charlotte Frank and Christine Millen contributed greatly to my understanding of what was going on with women. Under the current Executive Director Betsy Werley, TTN has gone national. There are now fourteen chapters and I look forward to meeting members all over the country.

Another big deal this month was an invitation to speak at TEDxWomen, as part of a conversation entitled “Rebirth” which was livestreamed to a hundred locations around the world and to millions over the Internet. Jane Fonda, whose wonderful new book is called PRIME TIME: Making the Most of All of Your Life, put together the panel which included: Laura Carstensen, founder of the Stanford Center on Longevity, who reported on her studies of happiness and aging. She has found that people (both men and women) in their fifties and sixties are much happier overall than people in their thirties and forties. I certainly am.

I talked about The Fertile Void and got great feedback, including a mention from Rosie O’Donnell (who – true to form – liked that I described the prelude to the Fertile Void as “the fuck-you fifties”) in an interview on Huffington Post, where, coincidentally, I am now blogging regularly.

I also spent a few days in San Francisco at the Civic Ventures Summit, where the Encore Movement really established roots among the many activists for positive aging who were there. Founder Marc Freedman is dedicated to using the organization to galvanize activists to work toward changing societal assumptions and individual experiences of work and life after fifty. We were all inspired by the five winners of the Purpose Prize – for social entrepreneurs over 50 – who told their stories.

And Ms. – my true alma mater – turns 40 in 2012, and is still going strong under the ownership of the Feminist Majority Foundation. The seventeen years I spent there truly changed my life; for one thing, it was there that I began to explore – personally and professionally – the issues that still matter to the women I write about. Stanford University is sponsoring a panel discussion about the magazine, where I will join the current editor Katherine Spillar, feminist bloggers, and former editors on January 26 to reminisce and look forward.

The spirit of Ms. lives on in our lives, in the magazine itself, and – in my opinion – in the Occupy Movement, which has taken over the country. Check out the amazing (though long) video, narrated by a song about democracy written and performed by Leonard Cohen.

Here’s to a great year for all of us – and democracy too!

**For Information on Events and Interviews – Click on the NEWS!

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ON SALE DATE: JANUARY 2, 2012

The TEDxWomen event – Resilience, Relationships, ReBirth, ReImagine – on December 1, 2011 was the FIRST bicoastal, global TEDx event in history!

I was thrilled to be a part of this energizing, awe-inspiring day.

The 2011 TEDxWomen event brought together an exhilarating array of speakers – of all ages – in Los Angeles and New York. The live events at the Paley Center in the two cities were part of “a genuinely global, groundbreaking community.” We were joined by women and men gathered at over 100 events on every continent and in every time zone. Pat Mitchell, President and CEO, and the Paley Center for Media team of organizers were amazing. Congratulations to them all.

The videos from our session and all others are available on the TEDxWomen site. Just click on the name of a speaker in the Video section.

I participated in Jane Fonda’s session on “ReBirth.” Click here to take a look at my video and please leave your Comment.

TEDxWomen…The Conversation Continues.

Enjoy!

I joined the Board of Civic Ventures in 2009, and one of the most inspiring elements of their mission is the discovery and celebration of outstanding social entrepreneurs in the Encore stage of life. The winners of the Purpose Prize have been selected from hundreds of nominees, and having had the honor of being one of the judges, I can tell you that the choices were tough to make; there were many resourceful and courageous candidates for this year’s prizes.

The Purpose Prize is the nation’s only large-scale investment in people over 60 who are combining their passion and experience for social good. Sherry Lansing, CEO, The Lansing Foundation and Chair, Purpose Prize panel of judges has said, that: “The Purpose Prize isn’t a lifetime achievement award. It’s an investment in what these encore innovators – all over 60 – will do next.”

Meet the 2011 Winners of the Purpose Prize – five people who will receive $100,000 each – for improving their communities and the world. Watch their videos here…

Jenny Bowen

Winner of the Purpose Prize for Intergenerational Innovation, sponsored by AARP – Bowen is uplifting the lives of thousands of Chinese orphans

Randal Charlton

Charlton promotes entrepreneurship in Detroit as a means to create jobs and revitalize the struggling city.

Nancy Sanford Hughes

Hughes helps save people in the developing world from catastrophic injury, even death, by replacing the traditional open cooking fire with an efficient stove.

Wajiru Kamau

Kamau helps African immigrants – especially teenagers – adjust to a vastly different life in the United States.

Edward Mazria

Mazria is driving the building sector toward dramatically reducing energy consumption and greenhouse gas emissions.

To learn more about Encore Careers, visit: www.encore.org.

Thanksgiving is my absolute favorite holiday of the year – no gifts to worry about, the chance to collect people you love from all corners of your life, and the best food ever!

This year, while the leftovers are still tasty, there is yet another event I am looking forward to: I have been invited by Jane Fonda to join a panel she is leading at the TEDxWomen at a one-day bicoastal event on December 1 at the Paley Media Center in New York, + Los Angeles.

I will be joining Jane, Mary Catherine Bateson and my friend Laura Carstensen to explore the subject of “Re-Birth.” I will focus on the importance of what I have called ‘The Fertile Void’ – “The fruits of ‘second adulthood’” – which I described in my book Inventing the Rest of Our Lives: Women in Second Adulthood.

The event is a continuation of an ongoing TEDxWomen conversation about “how women and girls are re-shaping the future.”

I hope you will be able to join us at an event in your community.

To locate a TEDxWOMEN Event near you, click here…

To find out more about TEDxWomen [x=independently organized TED event],
click here…

Thousands of women in their fifties, sixties and seventies are living – and defining a totally new love narrative. Whether they are already experiencing intimacy or joy – and great sex! – or need the inspiration and support to go for it, readers will be energized and motivated by the stories of new ways of loving in How We Love Now: Sex and the New Intimacy in Second Adulthood…

WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE IN LOVE NOW?
LET ME COUNT THE WAYS…

The kinds of love we can experience in a lifetime are limited only by imagination and circumstances. Yet for too many women the notion of finding or reinvigorating intimate relationships at midlife seems preposterous; they have bought into the conventional wisdom that menopause is the last stop on the road to loneliness and decline.

They need to hear from the increasing number of other women who are living — and defining — a totally new love narrative. Their stories are fresh and surprising. By the time she reaches the empowering stage of Second Adulthood, a woman’s wants and needs are different, and the women in this book are fulfilling those unfamiliar desires — in both flesh and spirit. Not only are they still lusting and loving as they age, they are enjoying it more than ever…

The first thing they tell me is that they are amazed by how unexpected this new aspect of their lives is. “I can’t believe that I am telling you this…” or “I can’t believe I am doing this…” Some report that are astonished to be finding the Real Thing–at last. Others delight in the rediscovery and reinvention of what has been there all along. There are those who are celebrating a different option – the freedom they are building into their relationships or the simple fun of “no strings attached.” The common thread is the surprise and wonder at the new dimensions to their own capacity for love. That expansion of possibilities extends from new frontiers of sex to profound commitments to people and projects that – although they make not get the dopamine flowing – feel very good indeed. My goal in this book is to map that unexplored territory.

LET ME COUNT THE WAYS – Anecdotes women have shared with me give a glimpse at the range of love stories out there…

“I have fallen in love–with a short, balding, and very shy guy,” a fifty-two-year-old bride tells me with a tinge of disbelief.

“I don’t mind the way I would have in the past that he has only a GED while I have two master’s degrees; he has a Ph.D. in life experience.”

“All the things you worry about when you haven’t dated as long as I hadn’t dated–about sexual intimacy, about being attractive–none of that happened. Your body just kind of takes over.”

“I was happily married for forty years, but when my husband died, I found myself becoming increasingly drawn to other women. I just found the intimacy so easy.”

“You may be shocked, but I have discovered the joys of one-night stands. I need a rest from ‘relating.’ And the sex is great.”

“I’ve come to realize I’m more comfortable as a ‘serial monogamist.’ I enjoy running my own life, on my schedule and when we get together, it’s like a holiday that never ends! It’s time we broke out of the married-or-single mind-set to realize that there are all kinds of relationships in between”.

“Now when I consider the prospect of being in love, I am most intrigued by the possibility that I could actually be who I am…with someone who gets me.”

“Our love has mellowed into a deep bond of friendship and shared life experiences. Yes, romance is still there. But the relationship is not rife with the up-and-down mix of emotions there was in the beginning of our marriage. Rather, there’s trust, safety, love, and mutual support that only the years can bring.”

I also heard stories of commitment, affection, intimacy and trust that expand the definition of love itself.

Copyright © Suzanne Braun Levine, 2011

As psychologist Jane Adams put it:

“Whether you’re single or married, widowed or divorced HOW WE LOVE NOW will remind you of how many opportunities for getting as well as giving love already exist in your life, and how many more await you in Second Adulthood.”

For additional information and interviews, please contact:

Louise Braverman
Associate Director, Viking/Penguin Publicity
PENGUIN GROUP (USA) INC.
375 Hudson St., 4th Floor
NY 10014

Direct: 212/366/2752
Louise.Braverman@us.penguingroup.com

Click Here to Pre-Order
ON SALE DATE: JANUARY 2, 2012

Women over 50 have wrestled with a lifetime of mixed messages. In our formative years we were taught the virtues of adhering to the1950’s & early ‘60’s standards of conformity. That meant being “ladylike” and fashioning our futures based on the June Cleaver/Donna Read models of matrimonial bliss.

But when the late ‘60s/early ‘70s rolled around, we’d had enough of the lackluster, ladylike role. We wanted to shine ourselves and, after years of open battle with the opposite sex, we started doing just that. Yet, although we began to occupy positions of power, the early childhood messages of proper female behavior persisted—one of the most stubborn being the nearly universal hesitancy to toot our own horn.

I addressed this issue in a recent post where I suggested using winning examples as a way to toot with comfort. But this problem is so pervasive and widespread that I turned to my favorite observer of the female experience after 50, Suzanne Braun Levine, for answers.

Suzanne shared both her insights and her personal struggle with tooting in our 15-minute conversation. Yes, Suzanne, a woman of notable accomplishments (Founding editor of Ms. magazine, the only woman editor of the Columbia Journalism Review, author of a number of best selling books, and frequent guest on major media programs) has trouble tooting, too!  She even wrote about her own lack of tooting temerity here on her website.

So what are we to do? Tooting our own horn is tied to feelings of self-worth and personal power. After all the advancements brought about by the women’s movement as well as the feisty hormonal changes of menopause, you’d think we gals would have this one nailed by now. Yet it seems like an ongoing struggle to be straightforward and state our strengths and accomplishments with ease.

How do you line up on the tooting issue? Can you toot like a trouper or is your own horn woefully silent? Suzanne and I would like to know. Please weigh in with any tips or ideas you might have for your fellow tooters and tooter wanna-bes. We’ll all be grateful for your thoughts.

Who knows? Once we get this handled, maybe someday the women of the feisty side of fifty will gather together and sound off with one great, triumphant toot. It would certainly be a welcome and long overdue reverberation; millions of horns vibrating loudly—sharing all of our remarkable achievements with open pride. In fact, what are we waiting for? It would be a “toot heard ‘round the world!”

And now for a bit of tooting of my own–I just started blogging for the brand new Huff/Post 50. Please take a moment to check out my post: “Five Keys to Beating the Age Factor.” I’d love hear your comments.